Express, not Impress (chatting with my Resistance)

(welcome to a public session of overthinking where I talk to myself, trying to unblock and quiz my Resistance)

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

That frustrating feeling of knowing you have a ton of potential inside, but you’re not able to fully actualize it out into the world.

Consume less, produce more. Ingest less, create more.

Quantity over quality. No one cares. No one is paying that much attention. Shitpost. Release.

Share your unfinished thoughts. Publish. Ask, engage, probe. Let it expand, grow, evolve.

Express.

Why is it so hard?

  • fear of rejection, judgements. creating is a vulnerable thing
  • don’t know where to start
  • don’t know how to end, the point, the goal, the destination
  • don’t know which direction to go
  • don’t know which medium, which method, which tool, which mechanism. the best. the optimum.
  • don’t know what to express.
  • don’t know what to work on. vague action, vague priority

Excuses. Lack of planning. Too much of planning. Procrastination. Resistance.

Why so serious? Why the pressure? Just let it out. Start anywhere. End when you want it. You’ll never arrive anyway.

Switch medium. Shift the method. Who told you you can’t? Do whatever you want.

Trap it. Capture it. Make it tangible. Then mold it.

You don’t need to know. You have to find out.

You will never be sure if you don’t try.

But first, let it out.

Own your shittiness. You are imperfect and there is nothing you can do about it. So stop arguing.

You’ll get somewhere and you’ll have changed the goalpost and standards. You don’t actually want to arrive and be “perfect”.

You are not under threat. You are safe. Be silly. Let go of the outcome. Do it for the sake of doing it. Do it for you. You are your audience this time.

What are you demanding out of this? Why?

Stuck? Pay attention: do you have flow? Do you have a way for input and output?

Have your catharsis. Unblock. Unclog. Stop thinking.

Let all the things locked inside so you could see, before the world could see.

Express, don’t impress.

You are not trying to build a brand. You are not chasing after some metrics. You are just trying to understand what it’s like being you. Do this one just for you.

You can compare and measure some of your other stuff against what other people create, but this one time, keep it just for you. Sometimes you create to stand out. Sometimes you create to blend in.

Who cares if they thing this is politically incorrect. Who cares this is controversial. Who cares this is basic and common knowledge. Stop censoring yourself so much. People forget and people forgive. Most of the time, they don’t even notice.

Everyone has heard it before. Say it anyway. Everyone knew this before. Remix it anyway. There is guaranteed someone who needs to experience what you are putting out there. You just need to be one step ahead than the person you’re helping.

It’s impossible to please everyone. But do it and you’ll certainly please one person: your damn self. Play your own game. Define your own rules.

You are not special but you are unique.

None of your stories and experiences are special by its own. At least one of the 7 billion people in this damn world would have the same story, would be able to relate, would have been through the same experience.

But the combination of all your experiences and the little things that made up who you are, makes you unique.

You often don’t see what’s so special about your life. But everyone knows something you don’t and you know something most people don’t.

We want to be seen as a whole but it needs to be piece by piece. You are multidimensional. You have a universe inside.

Know that it’s impossible to contain the grandness of you in one poem, one song, one painting, one book, one pull request, one commit, one sale closed, one story, one conversation, one vow. Give the world a peek. A slice. a snapshot. a teaser.

Nothing is wasted, everything compounds. Every rep matters. Train that muscle. pave those neural pathways.

Keep churning out those lego blocks. Lay the brick by boring brick. It will grow legs. You can build on top of it. Keep at it and you’ll be surprised when it suddenly snowballs and rolls out of you.

Get it out until you can finally let it out.

Originally published at Proses.ID.

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Theresia Tanzil

Theresia Tanzil

This is where I ask questions and talk to myself | Backend web dev, web scraping, Robotics Process Automation | Blogs at http://proses.id